By her side
by Nina.4444
Summary: Callie learns how much she meant to George O'Malley. Her relationship with Arizona struggles as the employees of Seattle Grace mourn the loss of one of their own. And Mark, Mark learns what it is he really wants in life.
1. Chapter 1

Callie sat on the floor of the empty and dark exam room she had barricaded herself in. She stared unmoving at a small scratch on a pot plant across the other side of the room. Her eyes were stinging with tears she wouldn't let fall and her jaw so tense to avoid the trembling she felt so close. The door opened slightly but she didn't move, she didn't acknowledge it, she barely heard it, she just sat, staring. Numb. A body moved in front of her and crouched down and dark blue scrubs filled her vision.

"Calliope"

Her voice was unsure, like she didn't know what to do, what to say? What was there to say?

"They need you to ….to go and..well you know ….you …they said you should be able to ….Christina and Alex…even Izzie agreed…Callie?"

She said her name almost with desperation, but callie's wide eyes stared through her.

"Cal-"

Arizona's pager pierced the air shrilly causing the blonde to jump up and awkwardly fish the offending black object out of her pocket. Glancing down at it not long enough to read it she looked back at Callie a hopeless look in her eyes…

"I have to…to go Calliope i…I have patients and I—"

"Go" A deeper voice interrupted her clumsy explanation.

Arizona raised her head to mark who had entered the room not long after her but remained by the door watching his best friend with concern. Arizona nodded and leant down and pressed an unreciprocated kiss to Callie's lips which had lost their normal lush red colour. With that Arizona rushed out of the room without another word leaving Mark with Callie. After a minute he moved further into the room and instead he slid down the wall coming to rest beside her.

"Hey baby"

His voice was quiet and laced with worry, but not pity like Arizona's seemed to exude. Callie hated to be pitied, after taking care of her after many breakups before, this he knew well….just as Callie knew he hated it just as much. With one movement he reached for her and her body slumped against his, he held her, breaking her gaze. His strong arms collected her in his embrace and he kissed her forehead. But before she got too settled in his arms he pushed her back upright again.

"I know this hurts Torres, I know but you've got to be strong for just another minute, they need you to officially identify him." He watched her and met her pained eyes when she looked up at him, broken and vulnerable.

"No…..no please Mark….please no …don't make—" He placed a finger over her lips before using it to sweep her hair away from her eyes. He kept eye contact with her before he spoke again,

"Callie…You can do this…you can do this and I know you will do this..because you were his wife and he was your husband…you knew him Torres…you knew him like nobody else knew him…you loved him…you love him Callie …I know that as well as you do because when YOU love someone Cal…you never stop loving them…so I know that you can do this and you will do this for George"

He finished and she was staring at him with the saddest eyes he had ever seen causing his heart to sting. She reached for him and he stood up pulling her with him.

She grasped his hand so tightly and he caressed her cheek…..

"You look great Cal"

Her mind whirled back to when Mark had first said that to her and she nodded at him knowing he knew that she was grateful. They moved to the door and Mark opened it after whispering that he would take her home afterwards. They moved out into the corridor and Mark gently guided her through the halls. She saw their stares, heard snippets of their whispers and drew the strength from her best friend that she needed so dearly.

"_I can't believe it, he was always so nice"_

"_He made such a great doctor"_

"_It's Dr Torres, look"_

"_I wonder how she's doing"_

Mark walked by her side past the stares and the whispers and moved even closer when they rounded the corner to George's room. She stopped as she observed the group huddled together outside of her ex husband's room. Meredith, Christina, Alex and Izzie. Bailey the chief. Derek and Owen. Lexie,— Her vision was broken as Christina turned to look at her. Their eyes met and a hundred words passed between them, Callie began to walk again and slowly the group parted. Mark opened the door for her but didn't go any further as he let her hand slip from his. She looked up at the sudden loss,

"You got this Torres, I'm right here"

She nodded in response realising it was something she had to do herself. She moved forwards, knowing but not truly caring she had an audience staring at her through the wall of glass. She moved to the bed and clutched onto it for support and looked up at George's face. She raised a shaking hand to caress his scarred cheek.

"Hi George" She whispered in a hoarse voice. Her hand wiped imaginary lint off his gown covered shoulder and slowly moved down his arm. She carefully held his hand, simply staring at it. Struggling to move she briefly looked up at the window and met Mark's eyes. He stared into hers and she slowly, shakily turned his hand over in hers. Mark nodded briefly and her eyes dropped down to her ex husband's hand.

She found what she was looking for….the small, barely there mark on the inside of his right wrist caused her heart to stop. She couldn't breathe, couldn't move, everything looked brighter in her vision, blinding. She felt moisture on her arm and looked up to see where it had come from before realising it was her tears running down her arm. A gut wrenching sob wracked her body and then another and another. She didn't see the hospital employees outside mirror her actions, she didn't see Meredith Grey look away, she didn't see Izzie Stevens clutch onto Alex and him onto her, she missed Miranda Bailey's eyes well up and didn't hear Lexie Grey's gasp. She didn't see the head of trauma, neurosurgery and plastics bow their heads and run their usually steady hands through their hair. She didn't see Mark look back up at her and didn't hear him enter the room but she did feel him catch her just before she would have hit the ground as her sobs overcame her and her legs gave out.


	2. Chapter 2

So kind of a pointless chapter...not much action but a little mark and callie time never hurt anyone... :)

**Chapter Two:**

In the centre of a very large and very familiar bed Callie Torres stirred, slowly waking from her slumber. As she opened her eyes a rush of pain erupted in her head causing her to groan and bury herself further down in the blankets. Her body cramped forcing her to stretch her limbs out –

_CRASH_

Her body flew up as her hand came into contact with something hard and sent it flying to the ground. Immediately her hand went to her head and stinging tears welled up in her eyes before the door flew open and someone stepped inside. The person moved to the curtains pulling them shut, effectively blocking the painful sunlight out.

"Hey love" She'd know that voice anywhere and she slowly opened her eyes again as Mark came into view.

"Are you trying to break all of my glasses that's the second one in 12 hours Torres" In response to his gentle attempt at a joke the tears she had been desperately trying to keep at bay escaped and a torrential flow of tears rolled down her face.

"Oh...Callie" Mark launched himself up onto the bed stepping over her body before settling down on the bed, pulling her onto his lap and gathering her in his strong arms that wrapped securely around her body.

"It's alright baby I was just joking" He kissed her head and held her close as she cried into his chest. He gently rubbed her back and held her tighter.

"It's okay honey, I promise it's going to be alright, I've got you Torres you'll get through this I promise I'm here" She was comforted by his words, she wanted to thank him and apologise for the glass but his finger stopped her lips as she opened them to speak.

"It's okay; it's what I'm here for. You'd do the same for me" she held onto him tighter as he spoke again,

"How's that headache of yours going, it must be pretty full on, have they started the chainsaws and the death metal 'music in there yet'?"

"Full volume" she managed to get out and he smiled into her hair.

"There's two advils on the bedside table love but I'll have to get you some more water" he whispered trying not to make her headache that he had no doubt would be splitting her head open worse.

"Sorry"

"Nonsense, no apologising Cal, I told you...i've got you" He took a breath and kissed the top of her head before continuing,

"Cal I have to go into work today I pushed most of my surgery's back but I can't really get out of this one"

She looked up in surprise, it still amazed her how much of a wonderful, thoughtful friend Mark was and how lucky she was to have him.

"Do you want to come in with me, I didn't think you'd want to be alone here" She nodded knowing he was right, as usual when it was about her, he knew her better than she knew herself.

"Okay, how about we get a shower and then we'll drive in" She nodded again and went to move but he held onto her.

"Stay here a minute hon, let me get you some water" She nodded for a third time and he gently leaned her against the headrest

"I love you Mark really" Her voice was hoarse and sounded painful but it didn't stop Mark from swivelling around and smiling at her warmth spreading through his body

"I love you too Cal" She smiled before holding her head again. He walked out and fetched a glass of water. Walking back towards the room he stopped catching a glimpse of the little red flashing light that belonged to his answering machine, he picked up his phone and dialled message bank trying to keep the place quiet. A loud beep sounded,

_Hi Mark, Calliope...I'm taking it you're there ..i tried your mobile and your house..but no one answered Christina said that Mark took you home so...i rang here...but...anyway if you are there could you call me...I'm worried Calliope and I'm sorry I had to run out yesterday and that I didn't see you last night. I'm flat out this morning I'm wondering whether you're coming in today or not. Do you have any surgeries lined up?_

Mark eyebrows rose disbelief..._Surgeries?_ His best friend had just lost her ex husband.

_Anyway I just wanted to check up on you ...see how you were doing so give me a call... I love you Calliope_

When Mark lowered the phone from his ear he was staring at it incredulously. Surgeries, her tone of casual indifference...it sounded as if Arizona was asking what Callie had for lunch yesterday. Mark frowned as it became abruptly clear to him that Arizona was...well missing. Where was she when Callie was crying her heart out, surely she knew how much George's death would affect Callie. Arizona knew of George and Callie's marriage, divorce everything. Mark put the phone down his mind still reeling at the lack of interest and support from his best friends' girlfriend as he turned and started walking through to the bedroom again.

Callie was still slumped against the head of the bed when he walked through the doorway, she was the epitome of exhaustion and misery and his heart ached just looking at her.

"What time is your surgery?"

"In an hour and a halfish, plenty of time" She wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her body towards the edge of his bed and held out the water dropping the two white pills into her hand. She took them and then leant her forehead against Mark's as he kneeled in front of her. It was clammy and cooler than it probably should have been making him stand up and without warning scooped her up into his arms and stood up.

"You're going to break your back hefting me around one of these days" He grinned at her,

"Never" he flicked the toilet seat down causing a loud, sharp bang and winced looking down at Callie

"I'm good, wow this could definitely rival a tequila hangover" He smiled and sat her gently down on the toilet seat and moved away to start the shower. When he got it to a nice temperature, even though Callie always preferred it to be scalding, he turned back to her. She was already half undressed but was struggling with her top. He lifted it from the bottom and pulled it over her head; she quickly rid herself of her bra and underwear. It had been a long time since he'd seen her in all her glory, since she started with Arizona, and he cursed himself at the inappropriate feelings that arose in him being close to her again, like this. He grasped her hands when he caught her unsteadily climbing into the shower he went to let go of her hand and she turned to him,

"Stay" He looked at her, unsure.

"Callie –"

"Please" One look from her was all it took for him to strip down and climb in behind her pulling her back into him and loosening her hair from the messy bun atop of her head. He turned her around and used the pads of his thumbs to gently wipe away the mascara smudges darkening her cheeks.

"Beautiful" She closed her eyes in partial embarrassment a small, sad smile forming on her lips. He bent down and picked up the shampoo bottle squirting some into his hands and massaged it softly into her scalp.

"Is that allright Cal"

"mmmmmm" He smiled, even though he was behind her and continued before rinsing it out and repeating the process with the conditioner. She was dead on her feet and moved easily when Mark turned her back around to wash her back and her shoulders.

"See this is the proper temperature a shower of a normal person would have" that made her smile, it was a constant but playful fight between them as Mark insisted again and again that the heat of her showers was not good for her skin and she would always shoot back with some snarky comment that would usually make him laugh. Once Mark reached around her and turned off the faucet he reached up for one of the large, fluffy, white towels and wrapped it tightly around her body. He grabbed one for himself as well before he reached up and helped her wring out her thick hair. She smiled up at him and they stepped out together.

"Thanks Mark"

They dressed in Mark's bedroom he tried chatting to her about random things his heart swelling every time he made her laugh or just smile. He could still see the pain and the hurt swimming in her brown orbs but he was content that he could offer a distraction even if just for a second.

Twenty minutes later Mark placed a plate of toast on Callie's lap before sitting down beside her on the leather couch and grabbing a piece.

"You need to eat Torres" She glared at the toast which normally would have made Mark laugh,

"Come on Cal, take a bite...you need your strength love" She nodded and Mark seemed to relax as she bit into the toast. He wrapped an arm around her and they sat comfortably together. She nodded again when Mark asked her if the advil were still working and then all of a sudden it was time to go. He stood up and disappeared into the room to grab his bag. She put the toast on the table and pushed it away. Mark reappeared with his stuff and her shoes and bent down to put them on her feet. Once he'd finished he looked up at her,

"I'm scared" The two words didn't exactly shock him but they weren't exactly what he was expecting either.

"Of what Cal" He sat back next to her on the couch waiting for her reply,

"It's just...you..you're my best friend. You look after me, take care of me, I barely remember last night but I know it was messy,...I was a mess and you ...you see me at my worst and you still stay and look after me...and Mark you make me forget and I feel okay here..with you ..here it feels like it's going to be okay but ...I ..I'm scared that when I get to the hospital..when I ...see all of them and ...I hate their staring and they're going to stare more than ever and I'm scared Mark..I'm...I'm scared" Mark didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her tightly before responding,

"Oh Cal ...I know you're scared love..I know...and you remember that I'll always be here for you...I'll always take care of you no matter what... no matter how much of a mess you are...and I'll always be here to distract you and I'll be standing next to you when we walk into Seattle Grace too okay...I've got you Cal..It will get better I promise" The fierceness and the sincerity in his promise made her nod her head but more than that he made her believe. He made her truly believe that it was all going to be okay, that things weren't as bad as they seemed. And as she hugged Mark and he kissed her head once again their friendship strengthened again. They were platonic soul mates as far as they were concerned. _Platonic, well that's what they told themselves anyway_.

Nothing could touch their love for each other but as Mark ran back into the apartment having left his phone on the table he didn't notice the little, red, light flashing on the phone once again as he swiftly moved to join Callie again.

**Well what do you guys think, pointless? I promise more will happen next chapter...:D**

Reviews would be incredibly valued! Thankyou!


	3. Chapter 3

**By her side. **

**Chapter 3:**

"So how's Callie going?" Derek asked Mark as they walked out of OR two following a very successful three hour surgery. Mark sighed before answering,

"She's...a mess, she cried for nearly the whole of last night, I didn't get to her to fall asleep until at least about four this morning" Derek looked at him, really looked at him. He saw the tiredness on Mark's face but he also saw the genuine concern for Callie,

"She's lucky to have you Mark" Mark nodded,

"I think I'm the lucky one" Derek nodded before continuing,

"Listen I just thought I should warn you...Stevens and Meredith...last night well they were going on and on about Callie...I mean yes they were a bit tipsy, toasting to George and all that but...their conversation ended up being about Callie and it wasn't pretty" Mark looked at him a frown beginning to form on his face,

"What do you mean?" Derek sighed before responding,

"They were talking about how Callie had no right to be at the funeral, or be upset and a whole lot of other things; I just thought you should know"

"That's crap she was married to him, she loved -"

"Mark I know, I agree with you, I'm just letting you know" Mark nodded feeling the anger that had bubbled inside of him a second ago dissipate.

"Sorry and thanks man, I appreciate it" It was at that moment that the identical pagers belonging to each of the men, beeped in time. Pulling them out of their pockets they read that they had both been paged by the chief to the conference room. Turning and walking in the opposite direction Derek decided to change the topic talking about his newest patient. While Mark half listened his mind flashed back to the night before thinking of the hysterical and upset Callie Torres he had literally rocked to sleep.

_She hadn't stopped crying from the minute he had led her out to the car and leaned over her to fasten her seatbelt until now where she was wrapped in his arms on the bathroom floor. The pain in her eyes was almost unbearable to look at. It was the worst he had ever seen Callie, it had come to the point where she had made herself sick from crying so much. She clutched her chest trying to make the pain disappear or at least weaken to no avail. The only thing that seemed to settle her a little was his arms around her body, almost as if he was physically keeping her together. He brushed her hair that was stuck to her clammy forehead away over her shoulder as she buried her head beneath Mark's chin and clutched his shirt in her fist, clinging to him. Mark knew how much she had loved George, he knew that she still loved him. Maybe not in the, I want to spend my life with you way but she still loved him. She would never stop loving him, because that's who she was. That was why he loved her so much. He tightened his arms around her and slowly picked her up. Her breath was wheezy and he knew that her chest must ache by now. He set her down on the bed never once letting go of her and climbed into the bed beside her, he had wiped her make up from her face hours ago but the black marks of smudged mascara were still noticeable as he pulled her back into his arms kicking their shoes and jackets from the end of the bed he had removed from both of them earlier. Mark lay in that same position for the next couple of hours, rubbing his best friends back, sitting her up when her crying became too much that she could hardly breathe or started to hyperventilate and whispered to her that he was there. _

Mark was pulled out of his distant reverie by Derek opening the glass door and Mark looked up. The silent and somber group sat around the table. The chief of the hospital sat at the head of the long table observing his employees. Bailey sat on his left silently but occasionally would look up to survey the group; Derek took a seat in the vacant chair between her and Meredith inking his hand with hers. Izzie and Alex sat beside them. Across from Bailey Owen sat next to Christina. On Christina's right hand side sat an empty chair Mark dropped down in. Christina glanced at him quickly throwing a sad smile at him which he returned.

"How you doing Chris?" Christina shrugged and he nodded at her,

"Arizona just left to find Callie, chief paged her but I doubt she's got her pager on her, nobody else has seen her since…. she came in with you right?"

"Yeah I was going to call her when I got out of surgery"

"Thanks for looking after her Mark, I know I don't need to thank you but…I—"

"You just look after yourself ok" It was a weird yet strangely comfortable exchange between the unlikely friends who had been brought together by their friendship with Callie. But Mark squeezed her hand quickly and she smiled a little more brightly at him before Mark sat back in silence watching for Arizona to return with Callie. Callie who, as he had just learned, nobody could find, nobody had seen since he had left her in the attendings' lounge that morning.

Suddenly a harried looking paediatrics surgeon rushed through the doors causing everyone to swivel in their seats to look at her,

"I can't find her chief I'm sorry, maybe she's left, she didn't answer her phone or her page and I can't find her"

Looking at Arizona Mark could feel the anger flow back as the answering machine message replayed in his mind and he quickly stood up causing nine sets of eyes to turn to him. The chief raised his eyebrows,

"Mark where are you going?"

"To get Callie" He responded shortly with no intention of continuing,

"You know where she is?" The blonde responded in exasperation,

"I have an idea" With that he exited the room

Mark strode down the hallways with a purpose. He travelled down the hall at a quick pace and through the only doors within the hospital that he had probably never been through. He observed his surroundings, the dark oak pews were lined to the front of the room. The room had a warm feel to it, dominated by rich reds, royal blues and expensive golds. Letting his travel across the room for a second time he spied what or who he was searching for. He couldn't actually see her but he caught a glance of thick long hair hanging off one of the ends of the pews near the front of the chapel. He slowly walked down the middle aisle. She was lying on her side, her left arm folded beneath her head and her eyes focused on the front. Once he was beside her he moved to be more in front of her before crouching down and lifting his hand to brush some of her hair back.

"Hey" Her eyes moved slowly up to his, the hopeless, vulnerable look that had swum in her eyes the night before had returned in full force. His hand kept brushing her hair back off her face and he felt her muscles relax beneath his touch.

"Webber wants to see you Cal" She frowned again,

"Why" Her voice echoed the vulnerable look in her eyes, fragile, broken and her body didn't move.

"I don't know love he called us all into his office, I'm not sure what he wants" He wished he could give her a better explanation, he had been too caught up in his worry for Callie's whereabouts to question why Webber had paged them all to the conference room. She didn't respond,

"Come on love and then I'll take you home okay, I'm off now" He promised and felt a flow of relief as she nodded. He physically helped pull her tired body off the wooden bench and as she reached for him, he noticed the tremble in her hands. He moved towards the door guiding her with him towards the conference room. Nobody spoke as Mark opened the door, his mind flashing back to only the day before when he had led Callie into identify her ex husbands body. He gently led her around the table and pulled the chair next to Christina out for her. Christina actually reached over and took her hand in a very uncharacteristic Christina movement. Mark didn't fail to notice Grey and Stevens roll their eyes and he hoped Callie hadn't while he shot them a glare remembering Derek's earlier words.

It was only after he settled in the chair on her other side and took her hand again that he noticed Arizona had disappeared _again. _His thoughts were cut short however when the chief cleared his throat and looked up at the group.

"Ok thank you for all coming here today, I would have liked to have speak to you yesterday but I thought today might be a little more appropriate." His voice was soft and gentle, like an older grandfather looking out for his grandchildren.

"There are a few things I wish to say however a more pressing matter is of first priority. Mr and Mrs O'Malley will be arriving within the next half hour, I was just informed they were on their way and would like to speak with me and some of their sons colleagues"

Callie looked up at the chief her eyes wide with shock and she could literally feel herself stop breathing as the surrounding world became hazy for a second.

"Has anybody ever met them apart from Callie" His question remained unanswered and Callie lowered her gaze again. Mark and Christina tightened their hands having observed the pain in her eyes moments ago.

"I'll book them a hotel" A few seconds of silence passed before a voice spoke up from the end of the table.

"They can stay with us" Izzie Stevens causing Meredith's eyes to widen and stare at her blonde housemate.

"I mean they'll want to know where he lived and …get to know his friends and… they can stay in my room while I stay in Alex's." Meredith considered her for a second before nodding.

"Yeah good idea" Meredith spoke not before seeing Izzie's gaze flick to the other side of the table, following it she took in Callie whose olive skin had taken on a pale almost sickly appearance. It gave Meredith a small sense of satisfaction that George's parents would be staying with them and as she followed Callie's arm that connected to Christina's the hostility she had for the surgeon grew stronger once again. She looked back to the chief as he spoke again,

"Ok, wonderful I'm sure they'll appreciate the accommodation, they have some very big decisions to make over the next few weeks so I'm sure they'll certainly appreciate it. When they arrive I'll introduce you all. Now before they do Meredith, Izzie, Christina, Alex and you Callie. I don't want to see any of you at work for at least a week" Nobody answered or objected, not even Christina who swore she'd never give surgery up for anything.

"At that point in time we'll review and discuss when you should come back" The chief addressed Callie this time,

"All of your surgeries will be either postponed or covered by Dr Jenkins so don't worry about them" She nodded briefly but didn't meet his eyes instead stared down at her lap. A knock at the door made a majority of the group jump as the door was pushed opened by a nurse who stuck her head in,

"Hi chief, sorry for the interruption but Mr and Mrs O'Malley are on their way up"

"What now?" The chief stumbled for a second as the nurse nodded. As the chief thanked her Callie abruptly stood up.

"Callie?" The chief asked his voice laced with concern.

"I'll be back in two seconds" Her voice was shaky as she slipped her hands from her best friends and moved around the table before pushing the door open and letting it swing behind her. They watched her walk towards the bathrooms and disappear inside.

Callie leant against the porcelain sink breathing deeply trying to control her shallow breaths and evade the headache she knew she was about to acquire. She looked at herself in the mirror before reaching out a hand and catching a single tear that fell from her chin refusing to let anymore fall. She was surprised she had any left. She knew she had to go back, she knew she had to face the two parents who for a brief amount of time had almost seemed like her own. She wasn't sure if they would have been hurt when she had lost contact with them. Before the break up she had spoken to George's mother weekly if not more but afterwards she could easily count their conversations on one hand. It was going to hurt her to face them again; it was going to kill her. But it wasn't about her, today wasn't about her. This was about George. George…she had loved him. Truly loved him. His quirky humour, his boyish smile, his innocence and his passion to help people. She had loved him so much. He had been the first one to accept her for who she was for so long and she had reveled in it. Maybe that's what had made her jump straight into the relationship, maybe too fast but she hadn't regretted it at all. Not until Izzie. The pain from her broken relationship still hadn't been healed, sure it had faded but on certain occasions, particularly lonely one's she would feel it flare up and consume her again. She took a deep breath realising she had been in there longer than she intended and turned to exit her hideout.

The first thing she saw moving out of the bathroom were the grey, blue eyes of Mark Sloan as he looked up at her and she felt a rush of comfort. He had been a life saver and she knew she owed him big time but at the same time she knew that he expected nothing because it was them. She held his gaze drawing strength from him as she bravely stepped back into the room.

It took Mrs O'Malley less than five seconds to turn and spot the woman she'd considered her daughter, abandoning her conversation with Meredith, Christina and Izzie nearly breaking out in a run towards Callie before tightly throwing her arms around her.

"Oh Callie" The kind woman began to cry in the surgeons arms and Callie breathed slowly and deeply trying once again not to lose control of her own emotions. Everyone's stare aimed at her wasn't helping. Harold, George's Dad who had also thought so fondly of the woman his son had married moved over from speaking with the chief.

"Louise" His wife pulled back,

"Oh I'm sorry love" She breathed to Callie who shook her head,

"Not at all, Hi Harold" She turned to the man to their left and walked into his outstretched arms,

"Hello dear, how are you?"

"How are you" He held onto her before taking her face in his hands and kissing her head in a fatherly manner, before Louise interrupted them,

"We've missed seeing you in the holidays Callie" There was a slight painful twinge in Louise's voice that made Callie's heart ache before she replied,

"Me too, I miss you guys" As she spoke the words Callie realised the truth they held, she did miss travelling to see Mr and Mrs O'Malley as she had done whenever she and George could work out several days they could get off together. She missed seeing his family, spending time with Jerry and Ronny George's brothers and having dinners with George's big, extended family that she had gotten to know very well. The stinging in her heart sliced through her again.

"Callie we have to speak with you" Louise's voice sounded nervous leaving Callie unsure of what she was going to say. Surely there wasn't any more news to break, surely it could only get better.

Harold frowned, turning to his wife,

"Now Louise?" he softly questioned,

"I have to tell her" Callie frowned this time and moved closer to the older woman to understand what was happening. The occupants in the room seemed to move closer as well as Louise reached into her bag and brought out a yellow envelope handing it to Callie, who looked up at her.

"Open it up love" The motherly voice of Louise did nothing to calm her nerves like they usually would as Callie stared almost in foreboding horror at the envelope. Callie turned it over and slowly slid the papers out of their casing before she gasped and let the envelope fall to the ground as her feet started to move backwards edging away from Louise and Harold as they watched her carefully. Her knees buckled when they hit the pale, forest green couch in the corner of the room and she collapsed down on it staring at the files in her trembling hands.

"He didn't …he…but" She looked back up at Louise her eyes wide with disbelief,

"but he said he…Oh my God!" Her voice was almost hysterical,

"I know dear but he didn't …. I found them in one of his draws next to his bed at home"

"But I did" Callie told her

"I know Callie"

"But he said he did…he ..why didn't he tell me?" Everyone in the room was confused the words exchanged between the three them making no sense to anyone.

"I don't know love" Callie gulped and her hand covered her mouth in shock.

She hadn't realised or noticed the woman she hadn't seen in nearly 24 hours enter the room a few minutes earlier and move around behind the couch. Arizona put a hand on her shoulder before reading the top of the paper and quickly retracting it as though Callie had burned her.

"Calliope! Is that…are you….you and him CALLIE!" Arizona half yelled almost accusingly, Callie couldn't form any response instead continued to stare at the papers but Louise turned to her.

"You must be Arizona" Louise's voice was kind but there was a tone almost a bitter quality to her voice. Arizona nodded,

"She didn't know" Louise added glancing back at Callie as did Arizona. She couldn't work out why this was all having such an effect on her. George was Callie's ex husband….sure they were kind of friends but she was acting as if she was a brokenhearted widow whose husband had left her broken and alone in the world. And suddenly it all seemed to make sense for Arizona, no matter how absurd she would later realise her next sentence was she opened her mouth,

"So is this why you have been so distant lately…." She scathingly directed the mad assumption towards her girlfriend. Louise, Harold, Christina and Mark opened their mouths ready to intervene but it was the chief who spoke with a tone of utter authority that demanded respect.

"Dr Robbins I think it's time for you to step out now, get some air" But for all the issues that was between Arizona and authority the woman continued to stare at Callie.

"Callie" She tried to get her attention with no success,

"You know what Callie you always loved him didn't you…we're so done!" With that Arizona stormed from the room leaving a deafening silence that lasted for nearly a whole minute. Until Louise O'Malley interrupted,

"I know this is a shock dear and a lot to ask…but..i..well I need you to do something else for me as well" Louise's voice broke,

"You're the only one I would want to do this" Harold stopped his wife's pleas there,

"Louise love, Now is not the time!" But his distressed voice didn't stop his wife,

"I can't do it" She exclaimed and thrust another piece of paper towards Callie who read it and this time the sound that escaped her lips was like she had been striked hard in the chest and winded. Callie didn't even try and stop the tears as she looked down to see the divorce papers that he had signed in front of her that he should have sent in weeks ago clutched in her left hand and in her other hand the rights to the donation of the organs of George O'Malley.

**Hope you guys enjoyed it, Let me know what you think :D**

**Nina**


	4. Chapter 4

**By her side**

**Chapter 4:**

It wasn't long before Callie had made an escape and all but ran out of the conference room directly back to the bathrooms. When she barged in the few nurses that hadn't been, being nosy and not so discreetly peering into the conference room quickly fled the bathroom. Callie sunk to the ground of the bathroom once they had all left her frame shaking. Her body, her mind was overwhelmed.

She stared at the papers in her hands.

Anger overcame her as she realised that he had never sent the papers in. She had been waiting all these weeks. No wonder it was taking so long. How selfish of him. He was screwing around with Stevens and yet he'd hidden their divorce papers in his family drawer! Who did he think he was...

And now his parents expected, wanted her to make the decision to...

No. She couldn't do it, she wouldn't. It wasn't her place. It should be their decision his loving mother and his loving father should be the ones to decide not the estranged ex wife who had been cheated on and then demanded a divorce. Or Stevens and Grey even Christina and Alex, this was their decision, the decision should be theirs. They loved him, they were crying for him, they were missing him too.

_You always loved him_ Arizona's accusation floated back to her...It made her chest heave as the tears came back.

The door of the bathroom swung open and Christina walked in. She took one look at Callie and walked over to her sliding down the wall next to her.

The two women sat in silence, far away in their own minds, but finding comfort in one another. They were both unsure of whom it actually was that reached to grab the other woman's hand but they found themselves sitting quietly clutching each other's hands.

Christina and Callie both jumped at the loud page that pierced the silence of the bathroom,

_All available medical personnel please make your way to the ER. Multiple person MVA involving a bus en route. ETA 2 minutes. All available medical personnel please make your way to the ER. _

Christina tuned her mind out for the first time ignoring what usually comforted her, what usually allowed her to feel normal when nothing else did. All she wanted to do now was to sit here, numb, with Callie and not face the world on the other side of that door.

The door opened again and this time Mark stepped in shutting it behind him making them both jump again. He looked at the two women and moved towards them crouching down in front of them.

"How're you doing?" His concerned voice made her heart ache and she squeezed Christina's hand tighter.

"I'm ok" Mark nodded,

"Chris do you reckon you can drive?" He asked her softly and she nodded,

"Why don't you two head home"

Christina shook her head,

"The bus..the accident we...surgeries..." Mark looked at her,

"We've got it covered Chris, you just get each other home and Owen and I will meet you there later, ok?" Callie who hadn't even heard the page to the ER looked at Mark,

"Will you come over later?"

"I promise love"

Callie looked at Mark, as if considering him,

"Save an extra one for me" She whispered and Mark smiled and leant forward to kiss her head,

"I will"

He leaned back smiling slightly and grasped one of each of the women's hands pulling them both up.

"Now I have to run but as Owen said we'll both be checking that you're home within the next half an hour, understood" Christina rolled her eyes, it was just like Owen to say something like that.

Mark opened the door for them and they moved out, Callie's eyes flickered to the conference room but it was dark and vacant. Mark caught her gaze and offered an explanation,

"Grey and Stevens took them back to their place to settle in" Callie nodded

Ten minutes later Callie and Christina were in the dark, scarlet red car Christina had recently purchased, the latter driving. It was a relatively silent drive back to the apartment yet not an awkward one. The only words spoken were when Christina made a de tour to the local take out place where she ordered a hell of a lot of their favourite foods.

They took it home and spread out in the lounge room with the food. Callie retrieved blankets and pillows for them while Christina put on an old movie. They settled down and the movie started. It was only then in the comfort and privacy of their apartment did Christina find tears spilling down her face. Never one to cry and hating when she did it she swiped the tears away annoyed focusing her attention on the film. Callie had just thrown the box of tissues she had been using at her and then had almost genuinely smiled when it hit her in the head causing Christina to flip her a bird and turn away from her again. Callie didn't mention it though, but she smiled when Christina fell asleep twenty minutes later happy her friend was finally getting some rest.

...

Hours later Owen and Mark moved into the apartment, as they quietly dropped their stuff onto the floor and the table they took in the scene before them, Christina was sound asleep in the armchair while Callie was wide awake staring into the distance unblinking. Owen glanced at Mark who was watching her with worry. As Owen moved further into the room Callie jumped suddenly realising they were there. She clutched her heart as Owen whispered,

"Hey Cal, sorry" She shook her head and looked to Mark,

They watched Owen pick up Christina and turned back to them briefly,

"We'll see you two in the morning, yeah?"

"Night mate" Mark said,

"Goodnight" Callie's voice was hollow, detatched. Owen bidded them goodnight before carrying Christina down the hall to her room. Mark moved to Callie and sat down on the couch next to her. She almost fell sideways lying down along the couch and resting her head in his lap. His fingers moved to her hair running them through it.

"Hey Cal"

Her hand gripped his leg, holding it almost like she was hugging a teddy bear. He couldn't stop the smile spreading over his face at her position.

"Hi Mark, did you save one for me?"

"Course I did, I promised you didn't I?"

She nodded,

"Her name is Abby Reynolds, she is seven years old and she was one of the passengers on the bus. She had second degree burns and she kissed my cheek just like you do when I put the salve on her burns and minimised the scaring. Well it might have had a bit to do with the anaesthetic I put in her drip too but hey?" Callie smiled listening to him,

"George wanted a baby"

Marks smile faded as he frowned down to Callie,

"He wanted a baby and I told him I wasn't ready, I mean I think I was ready Mark ...I know...I wanted kids I'm ...I want to be a mum but..."

"Callie you had just made chief resident and you're parents had declared that they hated you, I think you had enough on your plate" His fingers continued to run through her silky midnight hair.

"Who was I to deny him from being a father, what was –"

"Callie" His voice was forceful and almost reprimanding.

"You didn't deny George anything, he did that when he slept with Stevens, he denied himself the chance to be a father, to be a husband, your husband, to have a family, he denied himself a chance to be loved by you"

"But I still love him" Mark nodded,

"I know you do baby, I know" Callie's chin quivered and Mark ran a hand down her arm caressing her skin.

"George knew that you loved him Callie, he knew you cared, knew you wanted to be with him, so stop thinking that you didn't love him enough or tell him enough or whatever way you're currently trying to blame yourself, I'm not going to let you do that to yourself." Her arms tightened around his leg before she untangled one of them and reached to the coffee table grabbing the papers she had barely let out of her sight all afternoon and handed them to Mark who inspected the papers.

He had heard what they were like everybody else but seeing them was different, he could see how much pain and anguish they were causing her.

"He didn't send them in" She shook her head confirming his statement,

"Mmhm I'm still a married woman"

He then looked at the other document his heart swelling for her knowing if there was one thing that would break her it was that. Obviously she knew what he was looking at,

"I can't" She whispered,

He nodded in understanding,

"Why do they think I can? Why do they think I should be the one to decide?"

"I didn't know that you were so close with them" Mark asked,

"George and I ..we went up to visit them most times me and him could get a few days off together, it was great, his family are beautiful. The last time we went up there together, about a week before we were coming back George said he had to come back because of Meredith and Izzie or something I never really found out exactly why. But I stayed up there so I got to know them all pretty well"

He nodded learning more about her as he did each day.

"But I still can't ...I...Meredith rang before" Mark's eyebrows shot up in curiosity. He had seen Greys hostility to Callie and wondered what on earth she had to say,

"She wants us to go to their place tomorrow night. Louise and Harold want to talk about the funeral and they want me and Chris there...and...I don't know if I can do that Mark. I don't know if I can take that as...I mean I knew there was going to be a funeral but...his brothers will be there and his cousins his little cousins who are so cute and..."

"Me." She felt Mark's eyes on her. "If you want me there I'll be there with you Callie and Owen and Christina will be there too. We've got you Cal, we'll get you through this I promise...I'll get you through this" He watched her tears flood back and resumed running his fingers through her curls again. After a while he felt her relax and it wasn't long before she spoke,

"Could you come with me please Mark?"

"Of course Cal"

He bent his body and dropped a light kiss on her forehead.

"Get some sleep Callie"

Within minutes she dropped off to sleep in Marks secure arms. Mark watched her sleep knowing that the thoughts of George, his family and the next few days were still plaguing her even as she slept. Following Owens earlier actions he picked Callie up, blanket and all and walked her through to her bedroom. He sat on the side of the bed and gently pulled her shoes off that she hadn't bothered with when she'd arrived home and even more gently and patiently pulled her jacket off very slowly trying not to completely wake her up. He mimicked his actions on her, putting his shoes where he had dropped hers and letting his jacket drop to the floor to join hers as well. He climbed into the bed and almost instinctively she moved towards his body. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer into his chest.

"Goodnight Callie"

**What do you think? **

**Sorry that it took me a while to update I'll try and get the next one up much quicker for you **


	5. Chapter 5

**By her side**

**Chapter 5**

Callie languidly rolled over on the soft bed so she was on her back. After lying still for a moment she cautiously opened one eye and breathed out a sigh of relief when she realised there was only a very faint light creeping through the curtains not a blinding wall of sunlight like she had woken up to the day before.

The relief was fleeting however when Callie realised the other difference between the mornings. There was no Mark ...no Mark...he didn't walk through the door like he had the day before. He didn't walk in and scoop her up in his arms and give her some advil and take care of her. He wasn't there. The corners of her lips twitched downwards and her chin vulnerably trembled. She was alone. The silence that surrounded her was deafening and she could hear her own heart thumping in her chest.

_Christina. _

Somewhere in the back part of her mind she remembered that Christina was there. She wasn't alone. Well she was. But she didn't have to be, she had to find Christina. As Callie sat up her headache came back full force and she cringed leaning forward slightly. Suddenly a powerful bout of nausea washed over Callie. She slapped a hand over her mouth and shot up out of the bed running on shaky legs towards the bathroom. The tiles were cold on her bare feet and once she got there she collapsed on the floor at the toilet and emptied her stomach.

_Not that there was anything in there. _

She sat resting her head against the cool glass before finally she stood up on weak knees and flushed the toilet. She turned, a horrible taste in her mouth, and went to pick up her toothbrush. It was then she stopped. She stopped when she saw a small toothbrush in the pot next to her own that was most definitely not Christina's. It was small and red and green and had a lady bug on it.

_Arizona._

_Calliope! Is that...are you...you and him...CALLIE_

Arizona never called her Callie. She only called her Callie when she was angry with her. She was angry with her. She was furious with her ..she thought that Callie never loved her and ...suddenly tears were dripping down Callie's face again as Arizona's yells echoed in her head. All of Arizona's things had been gone when Christina and Callie had arrived home the day before she had barely noticed refusing to acknowledge it and instead had curled up on the couch trying to ignore everything.

_So this is why you have been so distant lately!_

_YOU ALWAYS LOVED HIM DIDN'T YOU _

_CALLIE...CALLIE...!_

_WE'RE SO DONE_

Callie slid to the ground against the shower screen and tears took over her again.

It was there that Christina Yang found Callie Torres precisely six minutes later. She had heard her sobs and forced her body out of her bed to follow the heartbreaking sounds escaping her best friend. She moved to Callie and pulled her up. On her own shaky knees and tired legs, Christina struggled with her friend's weight as both women feeling utterly weak slowly made it out of the bathroom and back to Christina's bed where they both collapsed atop of the covers. 

Christina picked up the large glass of water Owen had got for her that morning and helped her friend raise it to her chapped lips. Once Christina had lowered it back onto the dresser she lay back down next to Callie. Glancing at the alarm clock she saw that it was already twelve o'clock. They had slept until midday but she knew that

one. They could both sleep more

two. They both needed it

and three. They both definitely needed it before tonight.

As Callie's sobs died down in her chest Christina reached for her hand and together they drifted back to sleep.

Five hours later Mark Sloan and Owen Hunt half ran up the stairs,

"Jesus do you reckon they could have found an apartment on a higher level?" Owen spluttered out as they ran up the stairs, two, three at a time.

Both men had been in a surgery all afternoon and had asked Bailey to call Christina and Callie to quickly check on them since they hadn't been able to. It was only once they'd gotten out of the OR that Bailey informed them she hadn't been able to get through to them all afternoon. Both men had turned without another word to the hospitals Nazi and headed for the locker room for a brief second before racing out towards the carpark. They'd used Owen's car to bring them in choosing to leave Mark's at the apartment.

Neither of the girls' were dealing with the sudden death of George O'Malley well. Not that anyone was. And not that they were expected to. When they had left early that morning both Christina and Callie had been sound asleep completely exhausted. They'd decided to leave them there, choosing to leave them sleeping and left them a note on the kitchen bench.

Finally once Owen had unlocked the door and threw it open they both moved into the apartment breathlessly they both stopped up short when they spied the unopened note left exactly where they had placed it that morning. Along with the piece of paper was the food they'd left out as well. They'd made it easy, knowing that neither of the girl's were going to want to cook. They'd literally left the food out for them all they had to do was eat it. Owen moved further into the apartment and Mark slipped his bag off his shoulder onto the ground letting it join the one Owen had quickly discarded.

Mark walked towards Callie's room treading silently. The house was soundless. When he pushed the door open he realised it was empty and his frown deepened. Moving back out into the hall he saw Owen poke his head out of Chris' room at the end of the hall and gesture him towards it. When Mark entered the room there was nothing he could do to stop a small smile from spreading over his face. Christina Yang and Callie Torres, two of the toughest and strongest women of Seattle Grace, lay in the centre of the bed surrounded by tissues, sound asleep with one of their hands clasped together. Glancing up at Owen he saw that his smile was mirrored on the red headed mans face as well. Owen met his eyes and then glanced at his watch,

"We're going to have to wake them up we've got to leave in an hour at the most" He whispered and Mark nodded moving around to Callie's side. He sat on the side of the bed and let his hand run down the side of her face. Callie stirred slightly and unconsciously leaned her head into the warmth of his hand.

"Cal" he whispered and slowly she moved closer to him. It would have been comical if it hadn't been so sad to see her so upset as she rolled further towards him and wrapped an arm around his leg her other hand still joined with Christina's. At the movement however the other woman woke as well only to see Owen. In her moment of vulnerable weakness, Christina reached for Owen and the man was at her side in seconds. Carefully Christina tried to disentangle her hand from Callie's with no luck. Mark leant over the bed and slowly forced his hand in Callie's replacing Christina's and letting the other woman escape. Christina smiled at Mark in thanks and then stumbled out of bed before Owens arm wrapped around her waist guiding her towards the bathroom.

"Callie" Mark tried again softly, she stirred for the third time but this time slightly opened her eyes,

"hey love"

"Mark?"

"You came back" Her fragile voice caused his heart to sting,

"You would have known I was coming back if you had read the note Owen and I left the both of you" Callie smiled softly before looking up at him through swollen eyes,

"I don't think we got up today, what time is it?"

"About quarter past five love, we have to head over to Grey's soon" Callie's eyes widened and she literally pulled her body away from Mark. But he held onto her fast pulling her back to him,

"It's going to be alright Cal, I'm coming with you and so is Christina and Owen and Derek will be there and so will Alex ...it'll be alright Cal, I promise" She nodded and then blushed as her stomach rumbled,

Mark's hand slipped under the blankets to caress her waist before asking,

"When was the last time you ate Cal?" She shrugged in response,

"Have you eaten since the piece of toast I gave to you yesterday" When she shook her head after a moment Mark cursed his own carelessness.

"Okay well we're going to go and eat something and then we'll get you into the shower and ready for tonight okay?" She looked at him,

"It hurts Mark"

"I know baby, I know, It's going to be okay remember I promised, but you need to eat first okay"

"I don't want to" Mark nodded,

"I know" Mark carefully lifted her frail body into his arms and she settled her head against his chest. Mark walked her out to the kitchen and sat her on the bench.

"Can you sit there Cal" She nodded in response and Mark reached over to grab the crackers which he knew wouldn't upset her stomach. Callie just looked at them blinking. At that moment Owen walked in and walked to the tap to get a glass of water. He turned once he'd filled it and stood on the other side of Mark looking at her.

"How are you doing Callie?" She shrugged at him and he nodded,

"Chris will be done in the shower in about five alright?" He said this more to Mark than Callie but looked at her anyway as Mark nodded.

"I need you to eat some Cal, you're going to have to eat tonight at dinner anyway and it will be a lot worse if you haven't eaten when you arrive" She looked at him and then to the crackers but her mind was a million miles away. Mark sighed and pulled out one of the biscuits and slowly raised it to her mouth, she gently parted her dry lips and Mark pushed it in further.

"Take a bite Callie" His voice was firm and her eyes welled with the biscuit sitting in her mouth. She was still half asleep. Finally she took a bite and within five minutes Mark had managed to get Callie to eat seven whole biscuits. It was nothing, it would help nothing...at least there would be something in her stomach. Mark heard Owen and Christina leave the shower and he gently pulled Callie off the bench this time making her walk.

Half an hour later, they were running ten minutes late but both the girls seemed to have become themselves a little bit more after their shower and they'd slowly woken up.

"Do I really have to go..I mean... I really don't want to go" Mark turned to Callie,

"Cal I promise we'll just stay for a little while okay and then I'll bring you home okay" She nodded at him and took his hand tightly in hers.

"why are we going anyway?"

"We're going so that George's parents can meet all of George's friends Chris" Owen answered Christina who sighed before nodding in defeat. It took them twice as long to get down the flights of stairs as it should have both Callie and Christina walking slowly in trepidation.

It had also taken them a long time to get the girls to get out of the car at the other end. Several cars lined the street of Meredith Greys house and the porch light lit up the path to the front door. Mark knocked on the door several times and before they knew it an anxious looking Derek opened the door. A look of relief washed over his face when he saw the four of them standing there,

"Hey guys come in"

Owen and Christina walked in hand in hand and Derek leaned forward and hugged Christina. It would have looked very wrong and even more unnatural for the two of them to be embracing but at that moment everyone needed it and no one battered an eyelid. Owen smiled at Derek who patted him on the back as they moved forward. Callie following Christina's lead walked into Derek's arms who had opened them wide for her. Enveloped in warmth she held on tight not wanting them to disappear and for her to have to face everything that was coming. As they pulled away Derek brushed an errant lock of hair out of Callie's eyes. Callie took a deep breath and nodded to them all she glanced at Christina and the two women walked into the dining room side by side.

**Ok so dinner scene will be next chapter then :D**

**Please throw me a review and let me know what you guys think ...thankyou **


	6. Chapter 6

**By her side **

**Chapter 6**

Hell.

Hell is what that night was. Every second, every minute, every moment. All Callie wanted to do was to get up and get out of the Grey house. Derek sat at the head of the table, Meredith to his right and Alex next to her. Izzie sat next to him followed by Christina and Owen whose hands were clasped tightly beneath the hardwood table. Callie had somehow managed to get, what she considered the worst seat in the house. Even though Christina and her and walked in physically attached they had been quickly separated as Callie had been engulfed by George's two brothers. They'd held onto her and kissed her cheek and told her how much they had missed them. Seeing the heartbreak in their eyes nearly broke her. As the two fully grown men hugged her and told her how bad _they_ felt for _her_ she nearly let her tears overwhelm her. And then before she knew it she was sitting basically in the middle of the table. Mark sat parallel to Derek at the other end of the table and next to him sat Jerry and Ronny the devastated brothers. On Derek's other side sat Harold and Louise and then sandwiched between George's parents and his brothers sat Callie. And just to add more salt to the already gaping wound Izzie Stevens was situated directly across from her.

Stevens.

If there was one thing Callie had learned about the woman that night it was that she liked to plan. In the horrendous situation and the grief that encased the entire table Izzie Stevens was bubbly and animated. Simply looking at her and trying to keep up with the flow of words that came out of her mouth made Callie feel even more exhausted. The other thing she liked to do was cook. Obviously Izzie Stevens was someone who needed to make herself busy amidst grief. It was a feast, there was so much food that the large plates couldn't possibly all fit on the table. Callie felt her stomach lurch as she surveyed the food and as the rich scents filled her nostrils. Had she been looking up she would have seen both Mark and Owen watch her carefully as she wrinkled her nose. While the conversation wasn't forced, it wasn't comfortable at every minute either. Louise and Izzie did most of the talking with the occasional add in from Meredith. Christina and Callie rarely added much in. It was when Louise tried the roast that she turned to Callie and noticed her plate scarce of food. She tutted and Callie started as Louise stole it from under her and began to load it full of food. Callie's eyes widened at the growing mountain of meat, vegetables, pasta and everything else in reach. Under her mother in laws watchful eye Callie picked up her fork and took a bite. And then another and another.

Fortunately Louise seemed satisfied with her efforts and turned back to her conversation with the blondes across from her. It was then that Louise slowly but surely turned the conversation to the funeral and Callie felt the food she'd downed swirl in her stomach. The date was set for Friday..four days away...well three really since the day was nearly over. Callie felt her breathing quicken, she didn't want to go. She didn't want to see his family she had become so close to. She felt her stomach twist and felt a wave a nausea wash over her, her chin trembled and tears welled up in her eyes. She quietly excused herself from the table and moved out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom. Half way there the tears began to rain down her face and her breath hitched in her throat causing her to break into a run towards the toilet. Callie let out a gasp as her knees hit the cold tiles on the ground with a bang and the tears fell heavier at the pain. She was quickly overwhelmed though as she sobbed over the toilet while emptying the contents of her stomach.

A broken hearted sob cut through nearly everyone's heart who still sitting at the table. Mark went to stand up but stopped as Harold at the other end of the table stood,

"Let me son" Mark nodded and the older man pushed his chair back under the table and patted his wife on the shoulder before walking out of the room towards the crying Callie Torres.

In truth he hadn't spent that much time with her but he'd quickly accepted her as his daughter in law and had come to love her like she was his very own daughter. He knew his son had found a keeper and it had been confirmed when Callie and George had stayed with them during a couple of the holiday periods often with the extended family. Callie had gotten on so well with everyone. She fit, she meshed with their happy go lucky family. She laughed with the adults and played hide and seek with the kids. She'd somehow bought perfect presents for every single member of the O'Malley family come Christmas time at the family owned cottage in the hills which had even surprised George who had only really told her about his family a couple times. She'd helped to erect the cardboard cubby house one of the kids had gotten that day and helped them all with their homework during the rest of the vacation even taking Rory one of the eldest cousins driving to learn for his test. She'd joyfully taken part in the large and merciless family snowball fight and then shared stories with the adults around the fire after the kids were asleep. But best of all he'd loved the way she looked at George, they were in love. She was truly in love with him and her passion, her tenacity to love was profound and rare and he was truly happy for his son.

Of course, he had not then been happy to hear the news of their divorce. And he'd been even unhappier when both he and his wife had discovered the reason for their separation. Harold had given his son a less than nice lecture about doing such a thing to his wife.

Rounding the corner to the bathroom he sighed in concern and worry for the woman who was bent over the ceramic toilet bowl. Harold leant down quietly and carefully and gently brushed her dark hair away from her face and rubbed her back. She'd jumped for a minute but relaxed when he'd quietly told her that it was alright.

A couple of minutes later she slumped sideways against the cool wall before she turned her head to him. Her hands were trembling in her lap and he brushed her hair off her clammy forehead.

"Hi love"

"Hey Harold" Her voice was quiet, subdued,

"You okay?" She nodded and he raised an eyebrow,

"I'm okay I promise just ate a lot..too fast" he nodded at her and that was when he saw her knees,

"Callie" She sat with her back against the wall and Harold reached behind him and pulled a wad of toilet paper from the roll holding in against her left bleeding knee. He looked up at her and watched her chin tremble once more,

"I can't believe he's gone Harold" The greying man felt his heart ache, his son...his son was gone. He knew he hadn't dealt with the fact yet. He knew he had confronted the fact that he had lost his son and Callie's eyes were filled with that raw, painful truth. He averted his gaze back to her knee, the toilet paper was starting to stain red.

"I said some horrible things to him Harold" her quiet confession made Harold look up again and she sniffled before continuing,

"When we were...were getting the divorce at the start..i...i was so mean to him..I didn't mean it..I loved him Harold...so much ...so, so much and it hurt I didn't mean to say that to him but I was so mean to him"

"Oh Callie, you can't beat yourself up now love and let me tell you that he knew...he knew how much you loved him. And he betrayed your love Callie, this isn't your fault, it wasn't your fault so don't you feel guilty, understood" She nodded her head forcing the small salty drips that were clinging to her chin to fall.

"Oh sorry" A body had moved around the corner. Derek apologised,

"Ah Derek sorry we're hogging your bathroom" Derek shook his head,

"No no, that's where I thought you were sorry I didn't realise you were in the toilet, it's alright I'll come back" The man went to turn but Harold's voice stopped him,

"Derek, you don't happen to have a bandaid or something do you?" Derek cocked his head sideways and then noticed the paper Harold was still holding to Callie's knee.

"What'd you do Cal" She threw him a watery smile as he moved into the small room and crouched down. Harold lifted his hand and Derek hissed,

"Must sting a little Cal" She shrugged,

"I'll grab you a dressing alright" She nodded this time,

"Thanks Derek" As he left the room Harold turned back to her,

"I know this is hard Callie, but you'll get through it I promise, we'll all get through it. It'll take a long time and it'll hurt like hell but we'll get there" She nodded her eyes welling once again,

As Derek walked back in he smiled at the pair and went to hand the dressing to Harold but the man shook his head,

"If there's one thing I'm not it would be doctor or nurse or anything of the sort so I reckon I'll leave this to the professionals shall I" The man's back groaned as he stood up and again as he leant down to kiss the top of Callie's head,

"You look after yourself young lady okay?" she looked up to him and nodded offering him a small but grateful smile. Derek crouched down next to her for the second time and she looked at him as he slid his hand under her knee to pull it upwards a little.

"I got blood on your tiles" Derek smiled,

"I think we can cope with that one Cal, how are you feeling?"

"It's just a cut" Derek chuckled,

"Not exactly what I meant" She smiled realising what it was he had meant,

"I'm okay" he nodded and reached a finger forward to brush another tear off her cheek. Once he'd fixed the large bandaid to her knee he held his hand out to her and she grasped it letting him pull her up,

"How's that?"

"Thanks Derek" He smiled and she sighed,

"Now, how red and blotchy am I?" He shook his head,

"Not at all" She rolled her eyes in mock annoyance and pushed passed him into the bathroom, she let the groan fall from her lips when she saw her eyes rimmed dark red and her flushed cheeks. She turned the cold water on and splashed her face before fanning herself. After a moment Derek who was leaning against the sink took one of her hands,

"Nobody's going to care love, tears are the norm around here at the moment trust me" She nodded knowing he was right, but it didn't make her want to show her face any more,

She flushed an even brighter red as every pair of eyes turned to stare at her when she walked back into the dining room and was more than thankful to Derek who placed his hand on her lower back reminding her to keep walking as she moved to her seat ducking her head. She did however catch Mark's eyes that had floated down to the dressing on her knee just visible below her dress. He always noticed those things.

Louise gave Callie and small smile and rubbed her back gently causing her to smile widely at her hoping for her to stop. At that moment Jerry called to his mother,

"Could you pass the peas Mum" A genuine smile found Callie's lips now and gratitude swelled inside of her,

"please?" Now a hoarse chuckle escaped her lips at Louise's question. The normality of the situation made her laugh and for a second she felt normal, for a second everything was alright and she was back spending time with his family in the middle of nowhere.

The rest of the night was hard, unbearably so. The O'Malley's who were never dull tried to crack the odd joke to which Callie always laughed particularly because she knew that they were doing it for her. Slowly she settled into her seat, she didn't dare touch the food again but she listened to Lousies plans for the funeral and occasionally added her two cents in.

When the decision of the colour theme had come up the group had nearly settled on a black and white with a bit of silver thrown in. Conservative, traditional, grieving. It was at the last minute Callie had butted in,

"Red and Blue" Everyone had turned to her,

"Red was his favourite...and blue was a close second...and...and he wanted to go and defend his country, he was..he ...red and blue" There was a moment of silence before Ronny spoke up,

"I like it, red and blue it is" Louise and Izzie looked shocked for a second, but the older woman began to nod and smiled,

"I agree, that's more him" Callie nodded,

Before the night was over she had changed the music, to his favourite song of all time as well as the flowers and the guest list to which she added a range of people no one had ever heard of before but who she insisted had to be there.

It was that night that every single person, from Callie's friends, to George's best friends and his family learned exactly how well Callie Torres had known George O'Malley. Exactly how close they had been and exactly how wrong most of them had been about the two.

The night finished late, Louise wanting to finish the details and by the end of the evening everything was set.

Well just about everything, as everyone was getting ready to leave Louise pulled Callie into the lounge away from the others,

"Callie dear..I..I just wanted to say...well one thank you for this...for coming here tonight I'm sure you'd have rather stayed at home, I'm sure it was about as easy for you as me" It was Callie this time who brushed Louise's tired face when a tear rolled down it.

"And...well I just wanted to ask ...you know..if you'd made a...a dec-"

"Louise" Callie interrupted her,

"I don't...I don't know if I can-" Louise shook her head cutting Callie off,

"please Callie...please I need...I need you to do this Callie...if tonight proved anything it's that you were closest to him... I know your marriage wasn't long but you...you know him Callie" Callie just nodded, knowing it was the safest thing to do, she nodded and turned away from the broken hearted woman and met Christina and Mark in the hall. They were ready to go and so was she.

Owen had run out the front and had gone to get the car and bring it closer as the rain fell outside. Callie hugged the two men who were like her own brothers fiercely, promising she would see them soon and then Harold who she thanked. She gave both Derek and Alex hugs and nodded towards Meredith who offered her a small smile and at Izzie who simply looked at her. Mark placed a hand on her back as they moved outside and the three quickly headed down the stairs and into the car. They waved goodbye and as they rounded the first corner Mark wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she tucked herself under his arm leaning into him.

Three corners later and she was sound asleep in Mark's arms.

**Review pleaseeee! **


	7. Chapter 7

**By her side **

**Chapter 7**

It was raining...not that there was any surprise there. Callie Torres sat in her shared apartment by the window her head leaning softly against the pane. She watched the raindrops hit the glass and trickle southwards until they were no longer visible to her. But beyond the clouds' tears she watched the early risers of Seattle that were milling around the streets below. It was them she didn't understand,

Their smiles, their laughter, their blissful ignorance,

_How did they not understand?_

_How could they not realise that she was dying inside, how could they be smiling as though nothing had happened?_

It made her feel sick, which was not an unknown feeling to her; it was in fact as common as the rain in Seattle. She breathed in and out deeply, she had already been sick twice that morning she was more than ready to get rid of the nausea any way possible. The days had passed not unlike this one. Mark and Owen were around when they could but otherwise it was just Callie and Christina, both not the most of sociable people in the world at that moment. The days passed slowly and yet we're gone in a blink of an eye and then much sooner than Callie Torres' was ready for it was Friday.

The orthopaedic surgeon had been wide awake since 4:00 in the morning, the ceremony started at ten. Five hours away. It was then that Callie heard the dead bolt of the front door click. Mark and Owen had been at the hospital all night. They had managed to wrangle it so that they would both have the funeral off and so were making up for it before hand with an extra long shift. She heard Mark's footsteps up the hall and before she knew it Mark entered the small front room where she was curled up by the window seel,

"Hey Cal" he greeted her quietly, she looked at him and he smiled tiredly, she could see the exhaustion on his face,

"Have you slept yet tonight darlin" All Callie did was shake her head in response. Sitting his bag down Mark moved forwards and reached one arm under her knees and the other snaked around her back before he scooped her up in his arms and she instinctively curled against his chest. He walked her through to her bedroom and lay her down. She grabbed his hand when he went to move away,

"I'll be back in a second Cal" She nodded and he walked into the bathroom but thankfully he also returned before long and slipped into the bed beside Callie. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back into his chest.

"Sleep Cal, you need your strength before tomorrow" She nodded silently and he kissed her head as she shut her eyes giving into her exhaustion.

Callie's eyes fluttered open as the light hit her; she slowly opened her eyes and felt Mark stir behind her, while unconsciously tightening his grip around her waist. It was only when she looked up that she saw Owen standing next to her bed,

"Hey Cal, sorry I let you sleep as long as I could but we've got to leave soonish" he crouched down and pushed her hair out of her eyes as she nodded tiredly. Mark lifted his head before he groaned and let his head flop back onto the worn pillow beneath his head. A few seconds after Owen had disappeared Callie slowly began to pull herself out of Mark's arms as much as she didn't want to. When she was finally upright she reached for the glass of water beside her bed and took a long gulp before sitting back on the side of the bed. The mattress beside her dipped as Mark moved again and sat up beside her their legs touching. Mark gently reached over and took her hand and they sat there for a second watching the blank wall opposite them. When Mark felt Callie squeeze his hand he turned to her and wrapped her in his arms holding her extra tightly. She relished the feeling of being in his arms, safe, like she could face the day. She pulled back, feeling hollower and kissed his cheek gently in thanks before holding onto his shoulder and standing up.

Before she knew it she and Christina were stood side by side in front of the mirror in the bathroom both trying to untangle their bed hair nests and applying the smallest amount of makeup either of them had ever worn.

As they moved out of the room they met Mark and Owen in the lounge who were sat with two, white china plates piled high with toast. The two women just looked at them disbelievingly,

"You're going to have to eat before we head out, you both need the energy" Christina sighed and went to sit next to Owen who passed her a piece of hot toast,

Callie just looked at Mark,

"If I eat that it will only come back up. Thanks for the thought but I might have to pass this time" She said and Mark shook his head not finding her response satisfactory.

"Torres eat" He pulled her down and she collapsed next to him as he picked up a piece and held it out to her. She raised her eyes to his and realised that there was no way he was giving in on this one.

An hour later they were in Owens car dressed and ready and Callie's breakfast had made appearance once already causing her to throw the car door open after yelling at Owen to pull over. Mark had rubbed her back and pulled her long hair back but only smiled lightly at her when she glared at him after she closed the door once again. He kissed her head and she leant her head against his shoulder.

As Owen pulled up to the sidewalk they all sat for a silent moment and watched the black sea of people congregated in front of the large funeral house. The crowd was slowly trickling in the huge, ornate wooden doors. From the car they could see a number of people; they could see the chief shaking hands with Adele and Bailey and her husband close by. It didn't take them long to find Derek who stood by Meredith, Izzie and Alex. They sat there for a moment watching the others enter the grand building. Suddenly a shrill ringtone shocked all four of them. It was coming from Callie's purse and she fumbled clumsily with it for a second before she pulled it out of her bag,

"He—" She stopped and cleared her throat when her voice was barely audible,

"Hello"

"Oh Callie how far away are you guys?"

"Um we've just pulled up Louise"

"Oh good come inside then will you?" Callie nodded before answering,

"Yep we'll see you in a minute" She shut the phone and dropped it on the seat next to her,

Owen cleared his throat,

"ready?"

They all heard Christina take in a breath before she opened the door and stepped out into the cool air. Owen followed her moving around to her side and taking her hand. Mark turned to Callie who had paled further than she already was,

"You've got this Cal, you can do this" She looked him in the eyes,

"Promise?" She cursed herself for letting her voice break then. Mark lifted his hand and ran it across her cheek,

"I promise Cal" She nodded to him and he turned opening the door and slid out of the seat. Callie took a deep, shuddering breath and grasped Mark's hand he held out for her and stepped out of the car. Most of the mass had made their way inside but a couple of people smiled towards Callie before hurrying in.

It was still half an hour before the ceremony officially begun but there was still a sense of urgency to get inside. To support the mother who lost her son and the siblings who lost their brother. Callie never let go of Marks hand and Christina looked up to her and nodded and together the four moved forwards.

They slowly walked into the funeral home with trepidation; Callie gripped Mark's hand tightly as the stifling air surrounded her. They entered the small hall outside and received a program as they turned to enter the doors further a voice interrupted them,

"Ah Calliope" Callie turned and smiled surprised at her composure,

"Priest Gregory" She slipped her hand from Mark's and crossed the room before she was engulfed in his arms.

"I can't thank you enough for doing this service, I know it must be hard"

"For both of us my dear, I have christened and wed most of the O'Mallie family but this is the first time I've ever had to say good bye to one of them" She nodded pulling back as she felt pricks in her eyes.

"Whatever I can do Callie you let me know" She nodded and he moved back into the church.

Callie sighed and Mark took her hand again as they went to follow him but stopped up short when Callie didn't follow,

"Cal?" Mark walked back to her,

"I can't do this" She whispered frantically, her eyes already watery pleading with his to get her out of there,

"Cal-"

"I can't do this Mark"

"Yes you can" He insisted,

"No ...no I can't..I don't ...I don't belong here I...I" She stumbled over her words. Christina and Owen waited by the entrance for the pair leaving it to Mark to console her,

"Callie you belong here more than any of them...you were married to him Torres, he loved you, you loved him and so on and so forth"

"Till death do us part" Callie's words were so soft so vulnerable that Mark had to stop himself from wrapping her in his arms, he knew that wasn't going to help her. He leant forward and dropped a light kiss on her forehead rubbing her arms,

"I've got you Torres, I've got you" She looked up at him and then suddenly let his hand go, squared her shoulders and nodded,

"Ok" He placed his hand on the small of her back and together they walked in. Mark's eyes widened at the sheer size of the place it was huge. He was even more astounded at the fact that every row, every pew was full.

It wasn't long before Callie was enveloped into a sea of people who stood as she walked in. Owen, Christina and Mark patiently waited as they watched Callie walk back and forward down the pews. Mark watched as she physically shoved her own heartbreak back inside of her and greeted the mourners with a forced smiled that almost looked genuine and offered them the support she so dearly needed. After excusing herself from many of relatives and friends after promising to see them after the funeral Mark placed a hand on her back and together the four walked down the aisle.

They had nearly made it to their row when they were stopped by a loud voice,

"AUNTY CALLIE!"

Nearly every person within the church turned to look as Callie spun around and was nearly bowled over by a little blonde haired girl making a giant leap into her arms,

"Grace?"

"I haven't seen you for sooooooooo long Aunt Callie, Emily's going to be so excited" The tiny girl had the widest smile plastered on her face, one that only a child could have at a funeral.

"Hi Gracie-Goose" Callie knew she sounded as if she were ready to burst into tears and she placed the little girl on the ground crouching in front of her. She didn't see everyone watching the two

"You're sad too, everyone's so sad Aunt Callie, but uncle George always told us to smile" Callie nodded letting a small smile grow on her lips, and looked Grace in the eye,

"I think you must be the smartest girl here today"

"You've said that before" the little girl accused laughing,

"Then you must be super duper smart, mustn't you?" Her statement caused the girl to grin and Callie cursed herself once again as she felt a tear slip out of her eye,

"Don't cry Auntie Callie" The beautiful preschooler moved to Callie and placed both her tiny hands on either side of Callie's face and kissed her gently on the lips,

"Uncle George hated it when you cried he said that he hated it when girl's cried cause he didn't know what to do, do you remember that? ...But he told me he hates it the mostest when you or me or Emily cries because it hurts him too"

"Of course I do" Grace pushed Callie's thick hair out of her face and kissed her head, the act was so strange for such a young girl to do that everyone in the church smiled slightly,

"You did that for me when I cried" She said, but then frowned,

"But I think I'm too little to pick you up" Callie smiled in all honesty now,

"You might get a bit squished" Grace giggled,

"Can I sit with you today please"

"You'll have t—"

"Ask my mum I knowwww" Grace exclaimed in exasperation sighing and sending her pure blonde curls flying as she pouted,

Her mother nodded as her daughter turned to her and Grace stepped forward and latched onto Callie's neck who stood up, she turned back to where she had been heading in the first place. Mark smiled at her and Callie turned to Grace,

"Gracie this is Mark" She smiled and waved at him,

"Hi Grace" She giggled at him. Callie introduced the girl to Christina, Owen and Derek who were sitting with her. The chief, Bailey and their families were placed at the end of the row and the other interns were directly behind them.

"Sweetheart do you want to stay here with Mark and the others because I have to go and say hello to your family now"

"You mean our family" Grace asked slowly and deliberately,

"yes smarty pants I mean our family" Grace declined though and surprisingly leaped towards Mark who caught her in time,

"Everyone's sad, I don't want to go back there yet" Callie assured her that she'd be back soon and looked to Mark who nodded that it was okay before Callie walked across the other side of the room and was quickly engulfed by George's brothers, uncles, aunties, cousins and the rest of their family.

It took Callie ten, fifteen minutes to return to her colleagues. Her eyes were sadder and her frame appeared heavier. When she was close Grace stood up on the pew and stretched her arms out to Callie. The woman scooped the girl up into her arms who snuggled into her neck, Mark smiled at her as she settled in close next to him.

As Callie sat down and Grace settled in her lap once again she looked up only to find an identical but slightly younger Grace standing in front of her who had unbeknownst to Callie followed her back to her seat,

"Why hello Emmy" The little girl grinned toothily and Callie leaned down with Grace to kiss her,

" Hi Aunty Cawee" The little girl still learning her words pronounced her name the same as she always had making her heart swell. They all watched as the little girl looked at Callie and then Grace,

"I want to sit n aunty Cawee" Grace shook her head,

"No Emily you got to sit with her at the cinema it's my turn Emily" Grace instructed in the only way a four year old could. The miniature version of her sister pouted for a second before looking around,

"where I sit?" Callie smiled at her gently,

"Anywhere you want Sweetheart, do you want to sit on this si—" Callie trailed off as she watched Emily curiously take in the row of people,

"I sit..." Her tiny voice trailed off as her face screwed up in thought. Then she looked up at the man sitting beside Callie and suddenly pointed to him,

"on you!" Mark looked shocked for a second and then raised his own hand to point at himself,

"On me?" Emily just nodded and Callie heard both Owen and Derek laugh aloud. Mark turned to Callie, she shrugged,

"Resist if you can" she told him, Mark looked back down at the tiny girl in front of him and then he shrugged and reached down for her. She enthusiastically jumped into his arms and he pulled her up and sat her on his lap. She moved around getting comfortable,

"You right there Emmy"

"Yep Aunty Cawee, your fwend's nice comfy" She grinned toothily up at him and Mark smiled back at her, it was an adorable moment.

As the first few notes of the song Callie had picked out several nights before echoed through the large church Mark reached his arm that wasn't around the small girl across to callie's free hand and linked his fingers with hers.

Nobody could help the grin that spread across their face when they watched Emily and Grace see the two adults' movement and mirror their actions their small, thin arms stretching towards each other until their tiny hands clasped in the middle.

**Please review and let me know what you think guys! Would really appreciate the feedback for this one!**

**Thankyou **

**Nina xx  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**By her side**

**Chapter 8:**

Sobs, sniffles, quiet cries and whimpers made up most of the murmur that blanketed the old cathedral while the first part of the funeral finished. While most had tried to keep their tears at bay a majority of the occupants tried to discreetly wipe their wet cheeks as a quiet song began to play through the building. Emily slowly wiped her face on Mark's shirt whose hand was still rubbing her back. At one stage as the priest spoke of her husband Callie hadn't been able to hold her tears back anymore had had let out a quiet sob before she slapped a trembling hand over her mouth. At the sight of the strong woman who was usually laughing and smiling Emily's tiny chin trembled and tears filled her large eyes that had widened as she watched her aunt fall apart. She turned her head away and began to cry into Mark's chest who had lifted her up and turned her around further to face him. She had wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and he had held her securely trying to settle her. And once Emily and Callie had started Grace didn't have a chance and buried her own head into Callie's neck hiding her eyes from the large photo of her uncle on the board in front of them and her aunt's pain. Mark had felt completely and utterly helpless, and it wasn't a feeling that he liked very much, he could literally feel the pain radiating off Callie but couldn't reach out to comfort her in anyway. And there was no way he could let go of the petite girl in his arms who was sobbing into his neck. He could feel her tears on his skin and cringed hating the fact that such a tiny little girl was feeling so much pain. When all three of the girls were crying he felt even worse but surely enough as Grace began to whimper Callie forced herself together and wrapped warm arms around Grace.

Now as the music played all three girls' eyes were red rimmed and still a little puffy but they were alright and as Emily settled her head beneath his chin they watched as Callie stood up wobbling unsteadily for a moment with Grace on her hip. She leant down and sat the young girl on the pew before she crouched down and raised her hand wiping the tear tracks that ran down the pale girl's flushed cheeks. Emily sat snuggled into Mark's chest watching her aunt and her sister from his lap. His dark shirt was scrunched tightly in her small fist and her other hand was wrapped around one of his fingers at the end of his arm still wrapped tightly around her.

"I miss uncle George aunty Callie" Grace whispered hoarsely. Callie was silent for a painful moment before she answered the girl, using it to collect herself,

"Me too sweetie, me too" Grace sniffled before she looked up at Callie again,

"Will you come around and see me more now; I miss you so so much"

"Yeah!" Emily piped up, her voice muffled from Mark but loud enough for Callie to smile and nod,

"Okay, I'd like that too. I miss you girls" They both grinned and Grace reached out wrapping her small arms around Callie's neck. She couldn't help but smile wider and she stood up once Grace had let go. As she did both girls grabbed one of her hands each,

"Where you going?" asked Emily who was still clinging to Mark's huge hand, compared with hers at least, with her other.

"I'm just going to talk to someone. I'll be back in just a second" Callie assured them,

"Promise" asked Grace stretching out the word deliberately,

"I promise sweetheart"

"Okay Emily let Aunty Callie go" She instructed didactically,

"Grace don't tell your sister what to do" Callie automatically interrupted and then stopped when she realised what it was she had said. A strange and yet warm feeling spreading through her,

"Sorry" Grace said looking properly chastised. Callie couldn't help but smile at the innocent girl and kissed her on the forehead before kissing Emily too,

"Emmy please let go Sweetie I'm coming back"

"Ok aunty Cawee" Emily leant down and kissed Callie's hand with her plump, pink lips forcing Mark to hold onto her to keep her upright. When the little girl sat back up she sent Callie the sweetest smile she'd probably ever seen and Callie stroked her cheek smiling back before sharing a smile with Mark and turning away.

The young sisters kept their eyes firmly trained on Callie making sure she didn't go far and the rest of the group found their eyes following their friend as well. They all watched as she walked towards the other side of the old, vintage chapel and finally sat down on one of the long, oak pews. There sat a dark haired teenage boy who jumped slightly as she sat before turning and looking at her surprised. They watched Callie smile and run her hand through his hair affectionately. He glared at her and they watched her grin before the young man let out a chuckle as well. It was then that Callie pulled him into her arms wrapping him in a tight motherly embrace. The two sat side by side talking for a little while until they saw Callie gesture towards them and the boy looked over blushing when he saw them all peering towards them and then shrugging indifferently back towards Callie. She grabbed his hand without another word and pulled him up off his seat leading him past everyone back towards her seat. He blushed further, not one for attention and being dragged across the front of a church in front of a lot of people was certainly on the top end of his attention grabbing list. When the pair were finally standing in front of them Callie opened her mouth still holding onto his hand,

"Everyone this is Rory, George's nephew these two troubles cousin and my favourite" Mark grinned at Callie who introduced the boy as proud as punch. He'd seen the woman with kids before but never like this. He'd also told her that she was going to make a wonderful mother once now he had serious proof that she would be a phenomenal one. Grace broke them all out of their thoughts with a loud, dramatic gasp,

"only your favourite boy rigggghhht!" Rory and Callie along with most of the other surrounding adults smiled,

"Of course Grace"

"Who's your favourite girl then?" The smart young girl asked pensively,

"I have favourite girls, not a favourite girl young lady"

"Ah you two playing the favourite card again are you?" Callie turned to see her sister in all sense of the word. She was actually Jerry's wife and the mother of the two angels sitting innocently looking at their aunt and their mother, who called them her little devils. Melinda and Callie embraced the woman telling her how much she had missed her as well as the girls and Jerry. After a moment the woman reached out her arms towards Emily thanking Mark, Callie and the others for watching them. Emily frowned and pushed herself further back into Mark,

"Where going? I comfy" She simply stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Melinda smiled,

"remember you get to go with the other kids like last time we came here with Linda remember Em?" Emily nodded slowly,

"Fun, we made seep" Melinda laughed quietly,

"you did make sheep, I wonder what you'll get to do this time" Emily began to smile brightly but frowned and then looked up at Mark and then to Callie before back to her mum.

"But comfy" Callie smiled as Mark gently tried to pull his arms away only for the little girl to hold on tighter,

"Emmy, how about you go and make something and then you can come back and show Mark and I yeah? We'd really like to see it" Emily considered Callie's words for a second before stretching her head backwards to look up at Mark who smiled down at her. She grinned back to him her little dimples creasing her cheeks before she let Mark help her down and she let her mother pick her up. But she leaned back to Mark kissing his cheek and Callie felt her heart melt. Grace slid down from the pew to and Callie leant down to kiss her cheek as she grabbed her mother's hand and waved to them as she walked away. Mark looked up at Callie once he had finished waving to Emily,

"She's got you wrapped around her finger then doesn't she" Mark smiled at her before shrugging and he leant sideways and pressed a discreet kiss to the side of her head as Rory sat down on her other side and she linked her fingers with his.

Once the children had left the hall and the parents had returned the service started up again. It was then that the priest spoke about the loss of George, of life and death and George's brothers got up to speak which completely tore Callie apart as well as everyone else in the church. Before Callie knew it the one moment of the funeral that she had been so incredibly dreading arrived and she felt her blood run cold and her heart begin to beat in her throat,

"I now invite some of George's closest family to pay their respects to him first. His beloved mother and father, Harold and Louise as well as George's brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews. His aunts and uncles and cousins. Any other family here today please come forward. And finally Callie, Harold and Louise have asked me to include you in this section and would like me to sincerely thank you for everything you have done, all the love that you have given to their family and everything you have brought to their life. I have had the pleasure of meeting you and spending time with you and I know as much as they do what a delightful young woman you are and how much George O'Malley loved you and would want me to make sure that you knew that" She nodded to the priest silently thanking him unable to stop the tears raining down her face. She gripped Rory and Mark's hands together but when Mark slipped his out from hers she looked towards him feeling the loss of contact.

He shook his head however,

"This is your time Cal, you're his family remember I told you that, you and Rory go as his family and I'll be here when you get back" Callie breathed heavily, she thought she would have had her best friend by her side when she had to do this bit, she had counted on it. Every single time that she had pictured it, imagined it he had been there but he wasn't going to be. Rory squeezed her hand on her other side and she looked towards him and after a second nodded. Mark placed his hand on her back as she stood up helping her up and giving her support and he smiled gently at her when she looked at him once more before she fixed her eyes on the coffin at the front of the church. Harold and Louise were already moving up the stairs at the front her sons surrounding them. The rest of the family was slowly making their way up.

Callie and Rory moved up to the front both as hesitant as the other. To Rory George was so much more than just his uncle. He was the one family member to understand him, to get him. To take the time to overlook his quiet behaviour when the rest of the family was so loud and make sure he knew he was still loved. It wasn't that the rest of the family left him out he was just often, kind of, overlooked because of how quiet he was and how much he preferred solitude to crowds. Callie had been the same or maybe even more to an extent. Rory had almost been resenting the day when George would introduce his new wife to him, which was a little less surprising to him as it was to everyone else. He almost thought on some crazy level that Callie would be stealing his only ally away from him. Thankfully it hadn't been like that, in fact Callie and Rory had simply clicked in more ways than one and she had quickly become his favourite aunt out of everyone. And he knew that no matter what happened she would always be there for him. She had made that fact very clear on more than one occasion after George and Callie had broken up.

Callie began to walk towards the front after they had moved into the centre aisle of the church carpeted in a deep red. She endured every single step with an unbearable stinging pain coursing through her body. She felt her throat constrict as the feeling of tragedy, rage, grief and anguish swirled around the cathedral suffocating her, suffocating all of them. Their steps were small and hesitant and their hurt intolerable, mixing, growing until it was even more overwhelming. They were two of the small group in the church who were closest to George O'Malley and every step became more choking, more painful.

Callie felt like she couldn't walk properly, even stand properly. Her legs were lead dragging beneath her and her heart was constricted so tightly she felt it was going to explode. It was too hard, too consuming. She felt like every movement was taking hours to make, time had stopped and dread had exploded in her chest. There was no way to express how much she didn't want to do it, didn't want to see him, didn't want...couldn't say goodbye. And then suddenly they were there, it was there, right there. And Louise was sobbing by the beautiful, wooden coffin held up by one of her sons while Harold was looking towards her. He stretched out an arm and Callie watched her arm rise to meet his hand not even feeling herself doing it. The top was wide open and she heard herself gasp when she took another step forward stumbling slightly. She felt Rory tighten his arm to hold her up as well and she cursed herself for not giving him his moment, but she couldn't tear her eyes away to look to her nephew to comfort him. She was frozen, paralysed.

It was so wrong, so backwards, so erroneous. He wasn't smiling, his eyes weren't sparkling with laughter or happiness or love. The medal of honour that lay on his chest that belonged to his uncle did instead. The gold clashing with the silver metal of the stethoscope that lay around his neck. His face was a sickly yellow, grey, ashen and his lips were a almost ghost white. She unconsciously placed more weight onto her heartbroken father in law as she swayed dizzily as a wave of cold nausea washed over her. It had been several days since his death and she mechanically took in his swollen bruised face. And the dark shading beneath his pallid skin where the warm blood had stopped flowing and grossly coagulated leaving blotches of black shadows she would never rid her mind of. Callie didn't notice the tears running down her face, she didn't notice the sobs escaping her throat along with Louise's or the O'Malley men trying to hide their sniffles but what she did hear was George's voice telling her that he loved her, telling her that he would always love her, telling her that she had to keep living, keep going and then she heard a small, involuntary sob tear from Rory's throat and finally forced her eyes away from George, away from her husband to her nephew who met her reddened eyes before collapsing forward into her arms and finally letting go.

She wrapped her hand around the back of his head letting him cry into her shoulder, he was a tall boy for his age; she was only taller because of her heels. Somehow, she wasn't at all sure how the pair had ended up standing together next to Harold in a long line of his family. They had moved now and the other subdued or sobbing occupants in the church were a slow moving black mass moving to the front to pay their respects to their colleague, their friend, their lover, their doctor and whatever and whoever George O'Malley was to them. As the first couple of people moved passed the coffin Rory pulled back slightly and Callie looked down at him, his blood shot eyes staring into hers. She raised her hand to wipe away his tears and he mirrored her movement wiping away the remnants of mascara that had been washed away by her tears. They hugged, kissed, shook hands and thanked people as they moved down the line towards them. They were on the end, after Louise and then Harold. The priest of the church stood at the end of the row thanking people as they moved away from Callie and more than once he had to gently and regretfully remind people to keep moving as they got caught up in talking with her. She knew basically everybody that moved down the line. Some only knew her and so latched on crying their condolences and sharing their commiserations. The first one of the employees to move down the line was the chief who hugged Callie strongly and whispered to her how proud he was of her. It was only the first of her friends and it broke her right there and then. The older man looked at her like her father used to and she was gone. He had become a father to her in a way. He kissed her cheek and moved to shake the priests hand while Adele wrapped her arms around her instead. Next came Derek who didn't hesitate to mirror Adele's movements and Callie held on to him tightly. Owen and Christina passed holding her tightly offering words that they all knew would do nothing and then Mark was standing in front of her. It was her who stepped forward into his arms instead of the other way round and she buried herself in his chest holding him tighter that anyone else. She never wanted to let go but after a few moments and after he whispered into her ear that she was doing great he forcefully but gently pushed her back. Like usual she felt a gaping hole at the loss of his arms around her. The safety and security she felt dissipated. But before she could reach for him again a shrill and painful cry erupted from near the coffin. Callie knew who it was without even looking and she moved out of the line without even thinking. She moved to the coffin just as the blonde hit the ground and watched as Meredith tried to keep her upright and failed.

Callie moved forward and Alex who had rushed forward stopped letting Callie in who looked down at the broken hearted woman. Izzie Stevens looked up and for a second, instinctively pulled away from where Callie was but she met her eyes again and Callie knew what she was seeing. She knew because she saw the same thing. She saw her own hurt reflected in Callie's eyes, she saw her own raw, excruciating, insufferable and inconsolable pain in Callie and before Callie could even register what was happening Izzie had thrown herself towards Callie and wrapped her arms around her. Alex reflexively placed his hands on Callie's shoulders catching her and bracing her before she fell backwards and let go when she pushed herself upright again wrapping her own arms around Izzies' shoulders. It was a strange sight for anyone who even had an inkling of the situation. But grief worked in weird and wonderful ways and surpassed everyone's expectations even managing to bring Izzie and Callie together. They didn't know how long it would last but were thankful that the two women could at least gain a second of understanding, of compassion, of empathy from the other. They felt the same thing, the same love for George. It was the same love and different love all at once but it was strong and encompassing and enough to feel as though it was going to kill them and so they cried together settling for a moment of peace with somebody who understood.

After a while Izzie slowly pulled away and the two struggled up. The line was slowly working its way through the family but was nowhere near finished. The blonde smiled a watery smile at Callie who returned it and they hugged again knowing for the moment they weren't enemies, they weren't so different, they were connected. They didn't need to say anything, instead Izzie turned to Meredith and together they moved to re join the line and Callie turned to Alex who embraced her tightly letting her bury her head in his neck this time. It was short but she needed it and he walked her back to the end of the line where she took up her place once again by Rory and stood with him until the never ending line slowly finished.

There was another break, interlude, intermission whatever it was called and Callie needed air. She let Rory sit with Mark and the others and quickly dropped an excuse about needing the bathroom or something. She couldn't even remember now as she pushed the side doors open and stepped out into the fresh, cool air of Seattle. It had stopped raining but the ground was still wet the raindrops clinging to blades of grass. The lush, green grass area was littered with small yellow buttercups that she used to eat as a child. She smiled wryly remembering the blissful days of naive innocence. Where death didn't exist and her father's arms could fix anything. The flowers were frail though, drooping their morning dew paying their respects as well. She looked up suddenly hearing doors open and backed up against the wall watching as the children moved out the door. She watched as they giggled with care free laughter; the young girls, including Emily and Grace, holding hands and picking the yellow flowers, collecting them in woven, cane baskets while the boys flicked mud at one another. She was so lost in watching the children that she didn't realise Mark was beside her until he leant against the wall brushing her arm. She gasped and looked sideways,

"Having a nice bathroom break" she smiled at him and he smiled back before looking towards the kids as well. After a moment he spoke again,

"You should go and see them more Cal, they adore you, they miss you and you miss them" She nodded, there was no point in denying his words,

"I always thought that I wouldn't feel welcome or...like I belonged or...something I don't know ..but yeah I think I will" Mark smiled and the pair just stared at the kids and he linked his fingers with hers at their hips,

"the service is about to start again Cal, last bit" Callie nodded and looked back at him before letting him embrace her once more before pulling back,

"Thanks Mark" he shook his head and together they walked back into the church and she felt okay, like she could do it with him beside her.

It wasn't long after the priest began speaking again of loss and life and love that he welcomed the children back in. The long wooden doors creaked open at the back and there was a dull scuffle as everyone turned in their seats to watch two rows of smiling, rosy cheeked children move up the aisle of the chapel. They lined up at the front and Linda the woman they spent their time with explained that they had all drawn pictures of their favourite times with their family. When the kids held up their pictures to the crowd everyone clapped and Emily and Grace skipped back towards them the youngest not hesitating to launch herself back into Mark's arms who just caught her in time. Grace pulled herself up onto Callie's lap as well and the girls proudly showed them their pictures. Callie's heart again jumped in her chest as she took in the crayon lines on the page. She may have had an orange head, purple hair and blue legs and well..a missing abdomen but she was holding the hand of a tinier version who was just as colourful and there was a similar drawing of a man on the other side with yet a smaller girl high on his shoulders. And Callie knew that Grace and Emily had drawn their holiday with George and Callie at the Seattle Carnival when they had taken them. Callie's eyes filled with tears when Grace told her she could keep the art work and then reached up and tucked a bright, yellow buttercup in Callie's hair, behind her ear to match the ones that were stuck in their clips as well.

As Grace pulled back Emily uttered three words that just made Callie's tears heavier and Grace bury her head in her chest as Emily snuggled back down into Marks.

"buutifall aunty Cawee"

**Review! Please review this!**

**Sorry it's taken me so long to write this I really hope you like it, it took me forever and a day to write but would really really love to hear what you think!**

**Thanks for you patience guys, **

**Nina Xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**By her side**

**Chapter 9:**

Mark pushed the white door open for Callie and she dragged her exhausted body through the doorway passed him muttering a quiet thank you which he waved off. It felt as though the funeral had gone for days and days on end. Truly it had been a long funeral with many speakers and state tuition from George's very brief enrollment in the army. It had gone ahead anyway celebrating the contributions he had made as a doctor.

Callie felt her heart swell but smiled softly as she remembered the intervention that she and Bailey had organised as she toed off the heels she had been wearing. It felt as though it was a life time ago but Callie now wished that George was overseas helping the injured, healing the broken. He would have been great. No matter what they had thought.

She sighed quietly trying to pull her small jacket from her shoulders and groaned when she couldn't. Thankfully she felt hands grab the jacket from behind her and gently tug it off her. She turned and wrapped her arms around him thanking him for everything. For the day, the support, how amazing he'd been with the girls, for the past week and for the jacket.

She knew she didn't need to thank him and that he would wave her off, dismissing it saying that she would have done the same for him and she would have. She had no doubt about it but it still didn't stop her from wanting to express how much he meant to her, how much everything he had been doing meant to her,

"What do you want to do Cal? Ready for dinner? Movie? Bath? what do you need?" He asked softly not letting her go,

"Would it be alright if I stole your shower for a little while" She asked and like she expected Mark looked at her and rolled his eyes in exasperation she smiled into his chest,

"You don't need to ask. And feel free to steal some clothes too. I'm not sure if I've got anything of yours still here or not...I could go get some for you if you want" But she shook her head,

"Thanks Mark" she said pulling back slightly before she reached up on tip toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek,

"No worries Cal"

Stepping into the hot shower she let her taught muscles relax slowly. It had been organised obviously by Mark and Owen before the funeral that Mark would take her back to his place while Christina and Owen would head back to Callie and Christina's apartment. She was thankful that both men had been there. They had been amazing over the past week and she was more than grateful as she was sure her other best friend and co apartment owner was as well. There hadn't been anything planned for after the funeral mainly because a small gathering would be happening the following day for anyone who attended the funeral and those people who couldn't which was especially convenient for the doctors, surgeons, nurses and everyone else who had had no choice but to work that day.

It hadn't stopped people from milling around outside the church chatting amongst themselves and sharing stories and their thoughts about the funeral. Giving and receiving condolences and tissues while meeting George's family and friends. Once it had finally been just George's close family left at the chapel with her and they had said their last goodbyes and thank yous to one of George's aunts and uncles Callie had turned her eyes searching until they finally landed on Mark's. He was leaning against Owen's car beside the man himself who had his arms wrapped around Christina who was standing in front of him between his legs. Callie was more than happy to let Mark whisk her away from the chapel as soon as she had bid the family goodbye promising them she would see them the next day.

The next day. Tomorrow. Callie could definitely wait for tomorrow.

She sighed letting her head fall against the tiled wall and breathed deeply as the water cascaded over her. She was exhausted. And suddenly the shower wasn't as enjoyable as it had been a moment ago. She needed company, she needed a distraction before her brain took over and her thoughts exploded. She didn't want to think anymore she just wanted to sleep.

Ten minutes later she walked out of the steaming bathroom into Mark's bedroom and without thinking she helped herself to one of his shirts, a pair of his track pants, one of his heavy jackets and a pair of his socks. Suitably cosy she walked back out into the lounge.

She was met with a wolf whistle and she smiled at his teasing before letting herself fall onto the couch beside her best friend. He handed her the styrofoam box of take away he had ordered and she looked at it for a few seconds before he nudged her forcing her to spear a piece of meat with her plastic fork before raising it to her mouth. They sat in a comfortable silence both knowing that for the moment the peacefulness of Mark's apartment was exactly what they needed. As long as they were together.

After dinner Mark stood up wordlessly collecting everything only to return minutes later with a large tub of ice cream. She grinned at him,

"This is why you're my best friend"

"Damn straight" he spoke seriously before sitting back beside her.

"What's on your mind Cal?" And now...now she was ready. Now she didn't feel so breakable. Now she was able to look up and meet her best friends eyes that bored into her wanting to help, waiting to listen. She looked down into the ice cream and spooned a large ball of the cold dessert out before shivering when she ate it and cringing when brain freeze took over.

"Not the best diversion Cal" the man next to her laughed and she smiled but as she did she found her eyes watering up and she blinked furiously sick of crying,

"I shouldn't have broken up with him Mark, I shouldn't have...if I hadn't...I mean maybe..maybe he would have, we could have been...we" She stumbled out her words unable to form what she was trying to say into an intelligible sentence, then again she wasn't exactly sure what it was that she was saying,

One of his fingers on her lips silenced her and he raised her chin until her eyes met his. She could see the genuine concern swirling in his eyes,

"Callie this was not your fault" His words were spoken slowly and deliberately as he tried to make sure she understood him.

"But.."

"No Torres listen to me this was not your fault, nothing here was your fault you understand" She didn't nod and he knew that it would take more than a couple tries to get through to her but she was too tired to fight and instead she simply let her head fall onto his chest.

They talked well into the night he let her talk about George, he distracted her when she needed it. He supplied more ice cream and some tequila but more ice cream. Until suddenly it was two o'clock and Mark commented that they should probably head to bed to be up for the next day. She had nodded and looked up at him seriously,

"What?" he asked concerned,

"Thank you...I know I've said but seriously Mark"

"I know Torres and I'm always here for you, I love you Cal" She launched into his arms and wrapped hers around his neck hugging him tightly. He laughed but pulled her closer to him nonetheless.

When Callie began to pull back so did he. Her soft cheek brushed his and the prickly stubble of his gently scraped hers, sending a shiver up her spine. The familiar scent made her relax all over again. And before she knew it her gaze dropped to his lips.

And before he knew it her lips had gently landed on his. For a moment he began to push her backwards, for a moment his eyes widened in surprise and he began to protest. At least until he felt her body stop shaking and she melted into his arms. He kissed her back but thankfully several seconds later his mind interrupted him and he gently pushed her backwards knowing it was wrong,

Knowing she'd regret it later.

"Cal...Cal...Cal honey" He murmured against her lips. Suddenly a gasp escaped her throat and Callie pulled back from him as if burned. His eyes opened and he watched her for a second both of their chests rising and falling, short of breath.

He watched her eyes well with moisture and her breath hitched in her throat. He watched the regret he had foresaw swim in her eyes as she looked up at him,

"Mark" She breathed out his name before pulling back even further,

"Mark I'm sorry..i'm so" He began to reach out an arm for her but she pulled back before standing up unsteadily, stumbling.

"No...Mark, Mark I'm ...I'm sorry Mark" He couldn't stop her from standing up tears threatening to fall and running from the room. Seconds later he flinched as he heard the door slam.

**Okkkk it's actually been like a year since and update..well nearly two months anyway. I've been watching the countdown until it got deleted on the document manager bit for the last like 20 days ...I think it has three left and finally I've managed to get it done!  
**

**I hope you like it!**

**Pretty please send me a review****!**

**And guys I will do my best to never let it go this long again.**

**Thank you guys for all the reviews so far**

**Nina xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**By her side**

**Chapter 10**

The orthopaedic surgeon couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe.

Callie slammed open the front door and into the apartment her throat constricting and tears welling in her eyes blurring her vision. She ran towards her room needing to be alone.

What had she done?

She barely saw Christina and Owen who were tangled up in each other on the couch break apart and look up in confusion. All she saw was the door at the end of the hall that was hers. She slammed it shut not seconds later and slid down behind it unable to stop her tears from falling. She swiped at them angrily,

How could she be so stupid?

The taste of his lips on hers was still fresh in her mind. The familiar feel of being close to Mark...being close to anyone at all came rushing back and only made more tears fall. She felt wrong. She felt almost..._dirty._

She didn't know how long she had been sitting behind the door before someone knocked on it making Callie's body flinch violently. She prayed it wasn't him and crossing her fingers she realised that another part of her desperately wanted it to be him.

"Callie...Cal let me in, what happened?" She was both slightly relieved and slightly disappointed when she heard Christina call through the door but instead of answering Callie simply heaved her exhausted body of the floor and took the several steps to her bed before flopping down on it closing her eyes.

After several more seconds her roommate simply let herself in. Callie heard Christina close the door again and finally opened her eyes slightly when she felt the bed dip. Christina lay beside her,

"What happened?" the woman asked quietly taking in Callie's reddened eyes and flushed cheeks. But when the attending went to open her mouth she felt the bile in her throat rise and sting the raw flesh, choking her, choking her words and making more tears well in her eyes,

"Cal?" Christina asked again slightly more concerned,

"I kissed Mark" Callie whispered out but Christina shook her head leaning towards her trying to catch what she was saying,

"What?" Callie glared at her for making her say it again,

"Christina I kissed Mark" She breathed out the guilt dripping from her voice. The woman opposite her simply stared at her for a moment and Callie groaned seeing the surprise or more likely, shock flicker in her eyes. Once the younger doctor had taken a breath she shrugged as she watched her friend begin to stress,

"Cal it's not that bigger deal, really it's not" Callie's eyes widened looking at her before she pulled the soft red blanket scrunched up at the bottom of the bed around her chest as if shielding herself.

"It is! I feel so guilty Chris" she said feeling ill,

"Why?" Christina asked questioningly,

"My husband just died Christina!" Callie almost shouted incredulously,

"Oh" Christina said before she could stop herself and Callie looked up sharply before frowning in confusion,

"What do you mean oh" she asked, a frown contorting her features,

"I thought you were talking about Arizona" Christina admitted softly and Callie groaned throwing Christina a glance,

Talk about salt in the wound. But Callie forced the painful thoughts of her now ex girlfriend aside. All the thoughts she hadn't even begun to deal with yet. She couldn't...not yet.

"Why would that matter she broke up with me" Callie said indifferently,

"I know are you okay about that I never asked" Callie shrugged her shoulders,

"I haven't thought about it yet" she admitted truthfully, voicing her thoughts and Christina just nodded, not prodding her any further; which Callie was very thankful for. Well until she said her next sentence.

"Cal...Arizona called" Callie looked up at Christina her eyes full with tears all over again,

"Really?" She hadn't talked to Arizona since the day she had broken up with her.

"Yeah she left a message it's only me who's listened to it and I saved it in case you wanted it alright" Callie nodded at her friend who was watching her carefully. Christina sighed wondering if she really should have delivered that news right then and there,

"What do you need Cal?" She asked quietly. She waited for several moments as she watched Callie think,

"Sleep" she said and Christina nodded.

"Okay" She climbed out of the bed and pulled up the rest of the blankets around Callie.

"I'm right out there if you need me alright" she said as she headed towards the door. Callie nodded looking thoroughly miserable,

"Chris" she said and the surgeon in question turned back at her voice almost cringing and the vulnerability that was so foreign to the tough ortho surgeon,

"Thanks" she said sincerely and Christina just smiled before leaving the room shutting the door quietly.

As soon as the door had clicked closed Callie pulled the blankets tighter around her body and couldn't help the tears that rolled down her face. She was exhausted. She was completely and utterly worn out.

But the difference was that there was no Mark to hold her. No Mark to tell her that she wasn't alone.

She wanted her best friend back.

She'd screwed up.

Big time.

Turning her head to face down Callie sobbed into her pillow. Really sobbed and it felt as if she sobbing her soul out.

She cried. She cried for George. The sweet, intelligent man who she'd called her husband and had truly loved. She cried for Arizona the woman she still loved and yet had lost. She cried for her parents. Because they still weren't talking and it was another part of herself she had lost. She even cried somewhat for Addison who, to her, had become like a sister. She was family and yet she had lost her as well. Over the border. And finally she cried for Mark. Her best friend. Her family. And now she'd lost him too.

She was tired. Her heart was tired.

**Hi everyone, I know it's been forevvvvvver! And you've probably forgotten all about this story..I hope I can get most of you back cause hopefully I'll be updating much more often nowadays.**

**Sorry for the wait and please please pretty please send me a review!**

**Thank you to everyone who's reading,**

**Nina xoxo**


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